by the book

there's a college textbook titled
THE EMOTIONS FELT BY SEXY BIG-DICKED YOUNG MEN.
it certainly lists a lot of emotions.
here's an example of one item in the list:
"desire: to-have-an-orgasm-and-thereby-spurt-your-hot-gooey-cum".
also, the list
includes: "desire: to-sprout-an-erection-because-you-feel-extra-
good-and-you-feel-extra-alive-and-electro-tingly-when-
your-big-dick-is-stiff",
and variations thereof, such as,
"desire: for-friendship"
"desire: for-affection"
"desire: for-love" "desire: for-the-alleviation-of-loneliness"
"desire: for-meaning"
"desire: for-order" "desire: for-chaos"
"desire: for-the-banishment-of-chaos"
"desire: to-own-expensive-objects"
"desire: to-banish-materialism"
"desire: to-fuck-a-female-human"
"desire: to-fuck-a-male-human"
"desire: to-be-fucked-by-a-male-human",
and variations.
the textbook titled THE EMOTIONS FELT BY
SEXY BIG-DICKED YOUNG MEN also includes these items:
"desire: to-feel-joy"
"desire: not-to-feel-unhappy"
"desire: to-be-free-from-depression"
"desire: to-feel-exuberant"
"desire: to-have-sex-with-a-friend"
"desire: not-to-have-sex-ever-again-with-anybody-you-call-a-friend"
"desire: to-settle-down"
"desire: to-never-settle-down", and variations, such as--
"desire: to-get-dressed-up-real-nice"
"desire: to-be-dressed-utterly-sloppily" "desire: to-be-naked"
"desire: to-spurt-your-cum-while-lying-on-your-back"
"desire: to-spurt-your-cum-while-lying-on-your-belly"
"desire: to-spurt-your-cum-while-standing-up"
"desire: to-spurt-your-cum-while-sitting-down"
"desire: to-spurt-your-cum-while-driving-your-car-and-having-
your-dick-sucked"
"desire: to-spurt-your-cum-while-masturbating-in-the-shower"
"desire: to-spurt-your-cum-while-treading-water-in-a-secluded-pond"
"desire: to-spurt-your-cum-while-someone-watches-you-spurt-it"
"desire: to-have-an-immediate-with-no-delays-at-all-orgasm"
"desire: to-delay-your-orgasm-just-a-little-while-anyway"
"desire: to-delay-your-orgasm-until-the-last-possible-
toe-tingling-panting-gasping-wheezing-instant-and-thereby-
achieve-the-most-intense-electro-joltish-orgasm-of-your-entire-
fucking-life",
and a few thousand more variations on the word "desire".
actually (maybe i should have said this earlier),
this particular volume includes ONLY the word "desire" and
variations thereof. in fact, this big fat fucker of a book
has about
a za-billion mega-boom-giga-trillion
listings under "desire".
and tonight this book lies open on the desk
of one particular sexy big-dicked naked young man.
he's blonde, tall, desirable, and he really is feeling quite horny.
in fact, he wants to "get off" pretty darn soon.
so tonight he is
lying flat on his back on his bed furiously stroking
his big hard cock with both of his vaseline-smeared hands,
thinking "desire: i-want-to-cum-i-want-to-cum-i-want-to-cum-i'm-
gonna-cum-i'm-gonna-cum-i'm-gonna-cum-i'm-gonna-cum-i'm-
really-really-hard-and-smooth-slick-warm-with-vaseline-sheen-
balls-feel-so-good-dick-feels-sooo-good-i'm-gonna-cum-i'm-gonna-cum-
i'm-gonna-cum-i'm-gonna-cum-RIGHT-right-NOW!!!"
and he starts
spurting cum, and, as he lies there on his back spurting
big hot gooey wads of cum that splat onto his chin
and chest and belly and dribble into the chaotic
tangle of his thick wiry reddish-blond pubic hair,
and, as he lies there spurting the last few
almost-all-over-now spurts
of this particular really-excellent orgasm,
a listing from the textbook titled THE
EMOTIONS FELT BY SEXY BIG-DICKED YOUNG MEN
occurs to him, and it
is
"desire: for-the-perfect-shower".  so, he gets out of bed,
his chin, chest, belly, and pubic hair all smeared with cum, and
he marches into
the shower, wipes one hand on his leg hair until that
hand is mostly vaseline-free,
and, with his vaseline-free hand,
he grabs the shower controls and adjusts the
water temperature to the setting
that feels
just right,
pretty-darn-hot-but-not-too-hot,
just the way
he likes it.
he showers and showers and showers
and soaps and lathers and
washes off all the vaseline, and then showers and
showers and showers some more,
and in fact
the hot spraying water feels so good rushing over his
hot naked body that he wants to stay in there a whole lot
longer, but he's got homework to do.  so finally he turns off
the shower and opens the curtain and dries off
with a nice big soft fluffy towel.
THE EMOTIONS FELT BY SEXY BIG-DICKED YOUNG MEN
is still lying open on
his desk, and, when he
walks back into his room, naked,
his big dick swinging, the book is
open to the page that has this item on it:
"desire: to-masturbate-just-after-your-shower-even-though-you-
just-masturbated-before-your-shower-but-you-really-want-
to-masturbate-again-now-because-your-own-skin-feels-extra-
clean-and-very-pleasant-to-the-touch-at-this-particular-
post-showertime-moment-and-you-like-the-way-your-body-looks-
when-it's-clean-and-smooth-and-this-really-turns-you-on-now-doesn't-
it".
well, the naked blond young man says "goddamn!" and
closes that big fat motherfucker of a book with
a loud resounding thud.  then he gets dressed and starts studying.
but he's thinking about his dick, and he's thinking
maybe he just should give in and masturbate again.
it wouldn't take that long, he's pretty
sure. but he knows he should study, instead.
and, to tell you the truth,
he kinda wishes
he didn't have to read that damn textbook or take
this goddamn course at all -- but, well,
it's required. and, guess what, it's a 2-semester course.
and this is only the first semester.
and the second-semester course uses
volume 2 from the exact same textbook series, but
the encouraging news is that
volume 2 is different. instead of all
that emphasis on "desire", some
of the main sections of volume 2 are:
"tranquility"
"being", "calmness",
"contentment", and "peace".
but, most sexy big-dicked young men
opt out of the second semester entirely.
and, while taking the second semester is officially
and gently encouraged,
the second semester is, in fact,
not a mandatory course.  and there are
those, particularly many of those in
upper-level administration, who feel that
the 2nd-semester course
is just way too idealistic anyway -- especially
for a nuts-and-bolts curriculum that
prides itself on good ole-fashioned, and, ya know,
real-world results.  actually, they're thinking of
just doing away with the second semester
entirely -- quietly, and behind closed doors, when
everybody's on break -- since that's the way most
things usually get done. tradition is very
important there at the university--you just
can't buck it. and you know what they say:
if you stir up too many hornets,
well, they're just gonna sting ya.

--Carl Miller Daniels (February 6, 2005)