Do All Guys Masturbate?


Teenage guys -- yes, one hundred percent of
teenage guys masturbate, sometimes as often
as five times a day, rivers of cum, gallons
upon gallons of hot gooey teenage cum

Guys in their 20s -- yes, all guys in
their 20s masturbate, often just as
frequently as they did as teenagers,
hot gooey cum, musk-scented, torrents
of cum, guys in their 20s produce
a heck of a lot of cum, their dicks hard  
and thick and ever-ready

Guys in their 30s -- yes, all guys
in their 30s still masturbate, maybe
not as often as they did when they were in
their 20s, but, heck yeah, guys
in their 30s masturbate, a few
exceptional examples of guys
in their 30s are still
whacking off as often as 5 times
a day, some guys in their 30s
are constantly relentlessly
horny

Guys in their 40s -- heck yeah,
most guys in their 40s are
still doing the deed, masturbation
while taking a shower is a great
favorite setting for guys in
their 40s to masturbate

Guys in their 50s -- yep,
tugging it from time to time

Guys in their 60s -- yep,
you know they do

Guys in their 70s -- yep,
still doing it, sometimes
remembering back to the
time when they were
teenagers, those great bodies
they had, those relentless
hardons, those teenage wet dreams,
soaking the sheets, god
it was great to have
that kind of body, instead,
of well, this one, this
body in its 70s, things
sagging where you don't want
them to sag, things bulging
where you don't want them
to bulge, though
the dick, while
not as dependable as
it once was, will still rise
to the occasion won't it

Guys in their 80s -- I'm guessing,
without research of any kind,
to back me up, that only
about 50% of guys in their
80s still masturbate, though,
of course, alone in the woods,
a nice summer day,
a guy in his 80s and
his friendly 21-year-old
neighbor guy, "I once had a body
just like yours" says the
guy in his 80s to his
gorgeous 21-year-old neighbor guy,
"I masturbated constantly when
I had the kind of body then
that you have now, do
you masturbate a lot?" And
the 21-year-old guy answers,
"Oh yeah, I masturbate pretty much
constantly, sometimes several times
a day, wanna watch
me while I do it now, maybe
you wanna join in?" and
so the guy in his 80s
and the 21-year-old hot
gorgeous neighbor guy
unzip and whip out their
dicks and watch each other
masturbate, there in
the warm sunny woods,
things that happen
do happen, a guy
in his 80s, masturbating
along with a guy who's
just turned 21, a gush
of young-man semen, then a
gush of old-man semen,
a blur of
images, big dicks,
smooth purple dickheads,
parted lips, panting,
splashes of
vivid remembered time

Guys in their 90s -- um,
just a guess, but I'm
saying that 30%
of guys in their 90s
still masturbate, just
a guess...though, who
does these kind of
studies anyway? who keeps
these kind of research
records? hot naked
guys of all ages
who process sex data?
how does one get
that job anyway? "I'm
a data processor of
male masturbation data,"
one of them might
say, "I process
masturbatory statistics
supplied by guys of all
ages who
want to talk about
their masturbatory
practices." So exactly how does
one get that kind
of job? Just wondering.

Anyway.

OK.  Now...  

Where was I?

Teenage guys, guys in
their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s,
60s, 70s, 80s, 90s.

We must be up to

Guys in their 100s!   

Guys in their 100s -- do
guys in their 100s still
masturbate?
-- well,
guys in their 100s,
are guys...

 
--Carl Miller Daniels (July 29, 2023)