big-boned

waddling on the brink of obscurity,
the sexy college sophomore boy
decides if fame has eluded him so far,
the only thing to do
is strip naked and run on the university
sidewalks until he is stopped by
the proper authorities.
as a result of the act of running naked
and getting stopped by
the proper authorities, he's sure
he'll get all kinds of
attention.  and that he will be
obscure no more.
so, on a warm sunny day,
the sexy college sophomore boy
strips naked and begins
his run along the sidewalks, making his
way between the crowds of giggling students
trying to make their way to class.
he is noticed, and soon
he is picked up by the cops.
they make him get dressed and charge
him with indecent exposure and
tell him he'll be appearing
in court for sentencing.
he's set free on
his own promise to show up
in court, and not to goddamn run
naked no goddamn more.
back in his dorm room,
his roommate says to him
"what a jerk you are! what
an idiot! why the fuck did
you run naked across campus?"
the sexy college sophomore boy
replies to his not-so-sexy
college sophomore boy roommate:
"i wanted to be famous."
this sounds so funny
that both of them burst
into laughter, and,
from that moment on,
what had been a rather shaky relationship,
at best,
turns into a heartfelt friendship,
that stands the test of time,
a court date,
a fine of $500 and community service,
and
what soon quickly becomes
the
road to obscurity, after all.

--Carl Miller Daniels (This poem also appears in my book String Bean.)