liniment, the panacea of earthly delights

when the grinch stole christmas, trees grew
tall and fat. anderson cooper took off all
his clothes and took a nice hot soapy
shower, and masturbated, too, and
neil patrick harris fantasized
about anderson cooper naked in the
shower. while fantasizing all
alone in his own misty shower,
neil patrick harris
stroked his own nice thick manly dick,
while showering gently, with
lots of shampoo and soap suds,
and,
some of us,
pictured doogie howser, m.d.,
that young doctor naked,
examining me as i lay
on my back naked upon the table.
it seems i have the most
perfect abdominal muscles doogie has
ever seen, and he's simply
transfixed by them.
he palpates them gently,
just to be sure. then,
i receive the finest
blowjob of my life,
doctors know all
those skills, having
studied everything about,
well,
pretty much everything.
the lights go out.
anderson cooper dries off
and lies naked on his back
on his bed, staring into
the eternity.
neil patrick harris
discovers my poems,
and just
has to gasp with
pleasure.
the grinch goes away until
next year,
and the
pine trees are safe once more,
their big fat pine cones looking
tight and green and chloro-phallic--
they are dangerously spikey, though,
among the most
perverse
of all of nature's sexy little tricks.

--Carl Miller Daniels (This poem also appears in my book String Bean.)