probability of loose coins

he was trying to
cut back on
jerking off -- he
was at war with himself,
with own carnality.
he just wanted to
be pure,
but he
was sure he was
jerking off way
too much,
tall and young though,
and so gangly,
so young, how
could he help it,
in
his room, silent, middle of the night,
the stuff he spurted,
smelling so strong and thick and musky --
once again, he
lay there, smelling
himself,
his moist wet aliveness,
drifting,
hovering,
still mad
at himself for having given in yet again,
and yet, well, gently floating,
too,
in
the strangest   
kind of truce.


--Carl Miller Daniels (December 5, 2011)